Nedarim

R. Gamada gave four zuz to sailors to bring him something. But as they could not obtain it, they brought him a monkey for it. The monkey escaped, and made his way into a hole. In searching for it, they found it lying on precious stones, and brought them all to him. The Emperor's  daughter said to R. Joshua b. Hananiah: 'Such comely wisdom in an ugly vessel!'  He replied. 'Learn front thy father's palace. In what is the wine stored?' 'In earthern jars.' she answered. 'But all [common] people store [wine] in earthern vessels and thou too likewise! Thou shouldst keep it in jars of gold and silver!' So she went and had the wine replaced in vessels of gold and silver, and it turned sour. 'Thus,' said he to her, 'The Torah is likewise!' 'But are there not handsome people who are learned too?' 'Were they ugly they would be even more learned,' he retorted. A certain woman of Nehardea came before Rab Judah  for a lawsuit, and was declared guilty by the court. 'Would your teacher Samuel  have judged thus?' she said. 'Do you know him then?' he asked. 'Yes, He is short and big-stomached, black and large teethed.' 'What, you have come to insult him! Let that woman be under the ban!' he exclaimed. She burst and died. HE MAY ALSO EAT A WELL-BOILED EGG [BEZA TURMITA] — What is beza turmita? — Samuel said: The slave who can prepare one is worth a thousand denarii. For it must be placed a thousand times in hot water and a thousand times in cold, until small enough to be swallowed whole. If one is ulcerated, it attracts the matter to itself, and when it passes out the doctor knows what medicine is required and how to treat him. Samuel used to examine himself with Kulha,  [which weakened him so] that his household tore their hair [in despair]. We have learnt elsewhere: If one is working among kelusfin, [Lesbian figs], he may not eat of benoth sheba';  among benoth sheba', he may not eat of kelusfin. What are kelusfin? — A species of figs of which pap is made. A certain man once gave his slave to his friend to teach him a thousand different ways of making pap, but he taught him only eight hundred. So he summoned him to a lawsuit before Rabbi. Rabbi remarked, 'Our fathers said, "We have forgotten prosperity,"9 but we have never even seen it!' Rabbi made a wedding feast for his son Simeon, (and did not invite Bar Kappara).  He wrote above the banqueting-hall,  'Twenty-four thousand myriad denarii have been expended on these festivities 'Thereupon Bar Kappara said, 'If it is thus with those who transgress His will,  how much more so with those who do His will!' When he [subsequently] invited him, he observed, 'If it is thus with those who do His will in this world, how much more so [will it be] in the world to come!' On the day that Rabbi laughed, punishment would come upon the world.  So he said to Bar Kappara [who was a humorist]. 'Do not make me laugh, and I will give you forty measures of wheat.' He replied. 'But let the Master see